Let’s Talk About Self Shame

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Every time, a Facebook Memory pops up from around 2012 to present, I find myself staring trying

To remember that woman in the picture….And I think about my metamorphic journey as a whole.

For most of my life, I’ve always believed I was attractive. I have pretty eyes, a great smile, a huge personality. At my largest size, I had no self-identity issues. What I had was a horrible heart arrhythmia taking over my life and making daily routines impossible. I couldn’t exercise without having to stop ten minutes in as my heart rate sped up to around 240 beats per minute, making me light headed and unable to pull in a good breath.

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My mindset was positive. I realized that in taking care of family and raising kids, and not taking care of myself adequately I’d gained 140 pounds in a matter of six or so years totaling 270ish pounds or so, which felt like it had happened over night. I’d spoken with my cardiologist and Arrhythmia specialist regarding my heart and my health.  After careful consideration, it was decided that weight loss surgery was the best option for me to undergo.

 

I realized at the rate I was going and after age 40 approx: gaining 5 to 10 pounds more each year, I’d be dead before I got to see my kids get married and have children. Self-esteem or identity had nothing to do with my choice to lose weight. I didn’t feel ugly or fat. I felt normal especially since I did stay active walking and enjoying activities such as the zoo, hikes, 5 k’s just at a slower pace. I didn’t eat a lot of junk, but I also didn’t know how to count calorie intake, fat, carbs or read the back of boxes for bad for the body ingredients or additives.

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It wasn’t until a year or so after surgery my entire outlook on my self-image and my life was obliterated by four words. Four words spoken by a significant other directly to me randomly out of nowhere.

 

You Physically Disgust Me. To this day, I have no idea what was going through the one person I’d trusted for twenty years to spew such horrible words from his mouth. I have no idea what he was going through and I honestly to this day don’t care. The words that he so carelessly and cruelly spoke to me still affect me to this day.

 

Some say sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. At the time, I believed that person was a liar. In all my 41 years, I never had self-awareness issues or body issues. I was a content, I felt beautiful, I felt loved, I felt worthy.

 

And then… those four words became the monster of my nightmares, replaying over and over, the devil whispering in my ear and they devastated me on a level I didn’t fully realize for months, because every time I thought I got past the ringing in the back of my mind, I couldn’t escape the new image of myself in the reflection, half shattered on one side, beautiful on the other.

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I quit writing, became withdrawn from friends, I hid myself and I was ashamed because surely if someone who has been in my life for so long, knows my deepest darkest secrets, the ugly side of my personality then it must be true, otherwise why would those words come out of his mouth.

For the next year, I stayed rigid to my workout routine, enjoying becoming healthier but on the inside I was fractured and unsure. Wine became my best friend. If I met someone I wanted to associate with I had to have alcohol in me so they couldn’t’ see how physically disgusting I was. Because in the mirror all dolled up and sassy all I saw was a broken hot mess. To go from never having issues about myself to a host of insecurities rocked me, plummeted me into darkness that I still sometimes find myself drowning in. A person can play a victim role for only too long before they become a martyr of circumstance. I didn’t like how I was feeling and decided change like on the outside was my only option for self-growth.

 

And then I began working on transforming myself on the inside. I found positive quotes to give myself daily. I took more pride in the entire process, I found my way back to church, I began to forgive myself first and others later. I had to learn to let go of things that didn’t matter. I  try to remember that what others say doesn’t matter as much as what I know about me. I must also remember not to give negativity power. It’s human to hear and to hurt and to be offended by what others do or say. And while processing emotions I have to be careful not to ingest and digest the toxic others can dish out.

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In order to effectively change, I was forced reevaluate my life and make my internal issues a top priority. Daily, I look in the mirror and tell myself good job, even if I have a bad day. I erase the bad words spoken to me with positive words. I meditate, do yoga and run to clear my head.

I keep in mind, that there’s nothing to be ashamed of. My scars, my stretchmarks, the extra 8 pounds of loose skin on my stomach, the few pounds of loose skin on the inside of my thighs are flaws to be proud of.

 

I made a deal with myself that I would buy a bikini top this year and flaunt my body. The first time I felt too bare but I had a strong person with me the day I chose to be brave and it made me feel even braver. I got a bit of strength from him.  I bought four more tops and I love them and I love me in them.

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Eventually this year, I gave away all my tankini tops to my weight loss center along with matching bottoms, for those on a new journey because I no longer felt the need to hide myself. That’s crazy sounding, right? Now I wonder how on earth, after all the work I’ve done to better myself, I allowed self-shame to dictate how I lived my life based on someone else’s opinion of me. I allowed myself to be weighed down by self-hate and self-disgust for months.  Lost time that I could’ve done more positive things with, time I can’t get back. I won’t say wasted since I needed this time to reflect and learn and maybe encourage others who are stuck in the muck of self-shame.

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And while I appreciate all the lovely complements on the external side of my transformation. I want others to be aware how difficult it is to fix the internal and spiritual side. That just like I ate a few peanut m and m’s the today and a chocolate chip cookie, I had to tell myself it was okay to have junk food once and awhile and it’s okay to have bad appearance days, hell to have bad days’ period because they happen.

 

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I  force myself to be less critical of me and more accepting. I used to be my own worst enemy and some days I still am, just at a lesser evil of a level, and it’s something I imagine, I’ll work on the rest of my life.  The idea is finding a balance to be the healthiest you and learning how to love yourself first flaws and all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post OP Bariatric Surgery 3 years!!-

ALOHA!!!!

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It’s year 3 post gastric sleeve post operation. I cannot believe so much time has passed by so fast. Seems like just yesterday my first kiddo graduated highschool not all three.

Year one was a breeze. In between working out and parenting my time card was full. With my first daughter graduating high school and me healing, I mainly ate the basic diet of simple soft foods.

I was excited when I was released to excercise in small doses until I met up with Coach James Krause, Paul Kolenda, Megan Anderson,Joe Wooster, Tonga, Tim and Trisha Elliott, Joplin, and an amazing family of gym members and trainers. I planned and enjoyed hitting the gym eventually daily, and learned the art of meal prepping, ditching prepared or boxed foods and learning healthier options.

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During this time was the death of a long term relationship as well. The second hardest decision I’ve ever had to make was to walk away to put me first.

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As a parent and a partner putting yourself first never happens. Sometimes you have to weigh everything without letting emotion and rose colored glasses blind you. On your own without advice from outside sources.

I moved on…eventually into year 2 back to my hometown where I fell in love with my second gym family…Lawrence Fight Club/ Lawrence Cross Fit. Coaches Thomas and Kyle Thatcher, Coach Zak Bucia, Coach Shannon Woodard and lovely Savannah Thatcher welcomed me in. Workouts intensified as I moved from kickboxing a bag to learning technique in jujitsu and sparring. Man I love it tho.

Everyone needs discipline and structure even as adults. With the help of coaches and teammates (love you Lottie) they can push you past your breaking point (military workout deck of cards) to better you.

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The two gyms Glory MMA amd LFC Coaches teammates and gym fam were pivitol in my personal growth as well as physical fitness.

I found with the kids all in college and me left with just Lilly peaches (the most adorable Pomeranian puppy in the world)

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I found myself in a downward spiral. As much as others wanted to help me through it, they couldn’t. When everyone is gone and you have no one to fix or a situation to fix…you’re left with self reflection…

Self reflection really sucks. When you spend two decades ignoring your own inner demons and issues in order to raise your family…when the house is empty Pandora’s box opens and there’s this flood of crap to deal with. And it’s exhausting.

The absolute worst thing you can do is lie to yourself about having unresolved issues..everyone has some type of internal baggage. Don’t do yourself or those who love you a dis-service. Take a look a deep look at yourself and fix you. Like the Cold Play Song.

Being part of something bigger than just yourself is a great way to balance the chaos in your life. Coaches give great advice pertaining to the sport and life, even if you don’t understand it at the time. And your teammates they ride you to be better and don’t allow you to bullcrap or sugarcoat your screw ups. At the end of the day they’re still there.

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Year 3 has been rough. I had a major drinking issue, buried my birth mom, met 1/3 of my birth family all at once!

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Recently,  just buried a young man who was my sons childhood friend who passed in a car accident with his cousin.

Right now I’m away from both of my home gyms but doing amazing at the local gym until my circumstances change and I can return.
Not gonna lie…dreading it. Been away two to three months and doubt I’ll get clemency lol….

God is amazing in my life and I hope I can be encouraging to others. I have an amazing male and female best friend, amazing children and support system that I do call on in need.

Aside from personal training sessions , yoga is a great way to meditate when I’m anxious.
By year 3 most have mastered eating right and exercise so this year….

Below are pics from 2013 before surgery, swollen tummy pics are the day after surgery and others are the first year after surgery.

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I guess year 3 advice is:
Pray for yourself and others
Love yourself
Forgive yourself
Forgive Others
Own your actions
Get rid of crutches aka excuses
Listen instead of just hearing
Take a break from social media..
And turn off your cell phone for 24 to 48 hours the break is refreshing.

When you are struggling internally…don’t be prideful ask for help instead of struggling all by yourself.

Look forward not backward
Enjoy the Good and the Bad Times
Set Limits with others and yourself
Be clear on your personal expectations
Set harder goals with a shorter timespan
Crush those goals and make new ones
Be thankful-Make it a priority to verbally give thanks.
Put in the work in all aspects of your life and enjoy the rewards.
Be Inspired
Pay it forward…….

I would like to take a moment to thank God and everyone in my life for their support from KC Bariatric Center of KC Staff Laura, Chris and my surgeon Dr. Stanley Hoehn to everyone else who has been with me on this crazy journey.

Previous weightloss posts

https://wordpress.com/post/8982197/1688/

http://adrianakraft.com/stay-sexy-stay-healthy/stay-sexy-blog/stay-sexy-with-mahalia-levey/

Black Hills Wolves Blog with Ford Giovanni

BlogHunt_GraphicI have Ford Giovanni, the hero in my upcoming release Promiscuous Wolf here for an interview.

 

Let’s get started!

Promiscuous Wolf2_200x300So “Ford”, what makes you special?”

 “I’m all wolf baby. If I wasn’t taken, I’d give you a unforgettable experience.”

His forwardness makes my flush beet red, as I sit across from him, the tip of my pen in my mouth.

“What differentiates you from your kind? Then?” I question if he’ll keep up the sexual innuendos .

Ford moves into my personal space watches me breathe and sits back and crosses his arms. “Nothing. We are all pack.”

“So not what I thought you’d say.” Drat the man who wears a smug smirk on his handsomely chiseled face.

“What’s a normal night in the Giovanni household?”

“Raisin the whelp nephew of mine, Luck Giovanni and watching after my mate Caress.”

“Watching? What is she a child or something?” His wording piques my interest.

“No, not a child. Trouble finds her.” He frowns at the thought and I giggle.

“Shit’s not funny, it’s damned irritating.” His eyes darken and he slices his hand through the air.

“Do you love her? You have this permanent scowly look happening right now.”

Ford snaps his eyes up to mine and they soften a tad. “Fuck yes, she’s…my mate. Fucking best air I’ve ever breathed. Don’t tell her but she fucking owns me. Lock, key and barrel.”

“Mum’s the word.” I take a moment to reflect and change the topic around. “What do you do for your pack?”

“I’m a protector.” There is a dangerous air about the man taking up so much space in my office. His presence is big, his attitude even bigger. You’d think it’d be stifling but it’s not. He’s aware of everything in my office.

“Do you have special abilities?”

“I shift into a bad ass muther fucker.” He leans forward, “but my best ability was charming a lady out of her panties in sixty seconds or less.”

I lean forward. “How on earth do you do that? Every lady you came across?”

“Yes.” He leaned over and whispered something in my ear. My jaw dropped and yeah, I’d have dropped mine in sixty seconds or less too.

Ford chuckles. “Unfortunately for you, I no longer play that game. Sorry babe.”

“Tell us about your most current adventure.”

“It’s a toss between keeping up with Caress and keeping track of Luck.”

“Are you happy with the way people perceive you?”

“Sure, my motto is if they don’t like me fuck’em.”

“Tell us a little bit about your world.”

 “You know, I know Rav invited you to stay for a week.” He quirks a brow, extending the same invitation.

“As told your brother in law, I can’t do that. I know I’d have to stay forever.”

“Got a favorite music genre?Soooo…What kind of music do you listen to?”

“Country plain and simple.”

“Is expressing love difficult for you? Why?”

He looks at me like we’ve already had this conversation. “Every time I stick my dick in her, I show her home much I love her, when my face is buried in her perfect pussy, I show her how much I love her. When she’s throwing shit at me and I spank that sexy ass…I show her how much I love her. And when she needs to hear it. I tell her…I fucking love you.”

“A lot of f’ bombs.”

“I’m working on it, it’s not going so well though.” He chuckles.

What is your most favorite thing to do?

“Fuck.Pamper my mate. Fuck. Hunt. And fuck some more.”

“You know you said fuck three times.” I blink at the intensity of his lust for his mate.

“Yeah? You asked the question.” He shrugs.

“ Do you sing in the shower?”

 “No. I fuck in the shower.” It’s a wonder his mate can walk around normal with how blatant he is with his private life and sexual activity.

 “Any words of advice to leave the readers with Ford?”

“Promiscuous Wolf is out October 2nd. Stop by and read about the Giovanni family. It’s been lovely babe, all this talkn’ bout fucking is making me crazy. I’m off to find my sexy mate.” He takes my hand, kisses it and saunters out of the room.

My Prize: I will pick a few prize winners for some swag:P US Only but if You’re international please comment and I will pick a ebook winner or two!

Make Sure You Enter The Rafflecopter for Prizes!

https://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/b5041e2b13/

Blurb:

Caress Galveston has her work cut out for her. The one man she wants above all others is playing hard to get. He admits they’re mates, yet he won’t take the step to make her his. If only he could see past all the women chasing him, he might decide their nine year age difference doesn’t matter and she is worth the leap.

Ford Giovanni is a changed man. The moment he set eyes on the most headstrong wolf he ever met, no other woman would do. But with his past lovers still trailing after him, the problem will be convincing her of his faithfulness. And he won’t mark her as his until she does.

 

 

Links:

Decadent

Amazon

ARe

Come visit me at www.mahalialevey.com

 

The Continued Journey of Being a Bariatric Weight Loss Patient

photo 2 copyWhy hello!

I think the last time I posted was right around my one year mark or so. The previous two posts, I discussed small passages in time following surgery, the struggles and getting used to my new life.

Right now is smooth coasting. My life is pretty normal, has been my kinda normal since the post surgery year mark.

I always start the blogs off with food, because everyone always asks me about food. My diet hasn’t changed much. I still eat protein bars for breakfast, fresh fruit for snacks, consume lean meat and drink sixty four ounces of water a day. I can if I want to eat half a bagel with cream cheese, eat heavier foods at restaurants if I want to, but choose the lighter foods. I don’t crave things but at times consume jalapeño cheese poppers and fried pickles.

Sometimes when I’m out with friends for a day, I forget they have to eat lol, my assistant was pretty annoyed with me in Hawaii for that. Truth is, I have mastered how to get in 60 oz of protein a day and still eat fruit and veggies and drink water with the no water or fluid 30 min before or after. The trick is protein first everything else later. Never quite caught that at first. I look at how much protein is in what I prepare weekly so even my snacks are full of protein. I still stay away from consuming a sugar. Processed sugar makes me ill, so does too much artificial sweetener.

And I added wine to the diet. Yeah, gotta be careful since a glass and a half turns me into a drunk. When you’re missing 2/3 of your stomach the rate of alcohol absorption is grease lightening quick. Almost as soon as I swallow. When I’m out with my friends I’ll get a shot of vodka in a full glass of water and chill with that all night or won’t drink at all.

How’s my weight? I’ve been steady at 131 for five months. I keep track of caloric consumption and fat consumption. Choose what I want to do to work out to balance my intake. Like…one glass of wine is 105 calories, to burn those off I could walk for thirty minutes, run up and down stairs for ten minutes, or hit the treadmill for fifteen.

What happens if I forget to eat or drink enough? Take my vitamins?

If I don’t drink enough, I get super dehydrated and feel crappy, my lips get super chapped, voiding and evacuating are affected.

I don’t get hypo or hyper glycemic but I get shaky a bit if I’ve forgotten to eat. I pretty much move on a learned pattern of behavior towards eating. before it was planned now it’s almost automatic.

I do forget to take my vitamins all the time. And then try to stuff a full day’s worth in a few hours. I’m sure that’s not healthy but at least they’re in the system. Without the vitamins and protein runs the danger of hair falling out like it did at post surgery five months.

photo 1 copyEveryone asks about loose skin. My arms are good. I am having an abdominalplasty aka tummy tuck in Feb 2016. I decided this after visiting my surgeons partner at my one year mark. I do have a small section of skin that I want removed. My inner thighs could use some removal too but not to concerned, it’s all about comfort, not self image.

I’ve had a few friends have the surgery or come and ask me about possibly having and I still say to them to do their home work, research all options and pick the best for their circumstances. I never had a eating disorder. I have a heart arrhythmia that prevented me from working out super hard without having to stop almost as soon as I started.

Feeling Fit. I began working out a few days post surgery. In my morphine induced brain fog, I thought the doctor told me to be up every two or three hours to walk around the house. Fear of blood clots (no history of any blood clots) had me up and moving. I walked around the house for a two weeks, then took it outside at eight weeks, I took it to the gym. Planet Fitness, began with the 30 min circuit, then moved onto the next p life circuit three months later, at six months I moved to design your own program doing weights and lower body.

Once I got bored. I checked into Kickboxing and joined. Glory MMA. Twice a week taking Glory Fit classes… kickboxing four times a week cardio and weights. Soon that will change when I get approval for my work schedule shift to begin an hour later. I’ll kick box Monday through Friday and fit in weights sometime in the week.

In support groups peers have asked me about my addictions and why I’ve done so well this close out. Let me be more informative. At my 11 month appointment. The surgeon asked me what I was doing that had me lose 97% of excess body fat when the normal for my gastric sleeve was only 65%. I don’t really have an answer but I’d venture to say its the balance of diet and exercising at least 45 minutes a day if not more. It’s not having teens fetch me things, or taking the elevator when the stairs are quicker. I think a major factor of success lies in getting a sweat drenching body hating you workout. My BMI was I want to say 41 in March 2013 and it’s 22 now.

I’ve never inhaled copious amounts of food, alcohol sure, food no. I don’t have any addictions that affect my mental or physical well being, and for those individuals that do, I strongly urge a lot of pre and post counseling and a behavior modification for unhealthy coping mechanisms. I’ve seen peers and read stories of some patients who’s surgeries have failed and they end up where they started.

I also worked out when I was bigger, and stayed active, there are others who’ve gone the surgery route that cannot do my level of workout, and those who opted for surgery but decided not to tone and strengthen their bodies. Not everyone loves to exercise, each person needs to weigh out what is important to them. For me if I don’t exercise I Hulk out, I’m irritated easily, snappish and tense.

11406612_10152945335872773_2233805393086252481_oHow is my family affected by my surgery? I pre make my meals and don’t force them to eat healthy, but I also don’t fry foods or buy unhealthy processed foods. I tell everyone to workout at least three times a week, not to be mean but because doing so makes me feel good and I want them to feel as good as I do.

Have I changed? Yes and no. I’m still the same person I was when I was obese. Yes, I have a crazy ton of energy that’s the biggest change. I’m still impatient that hasn’t changed but one thing that has is my bullshit meter. I don’t have time for nonsense and have been told I’m a bit more vocal than when I was obese.

Odd things I’ve noticed.

How I fit inside the car driver seat, not having girth over it.

The roomy feeling of sitting in an airplane seat without touching the person next to me

Sitting criss cross legs crossed or drawing my knees up to my chest

Crossing my leg where it’s not sideways

painting and grooming my own toenails without having to take short stops to take a breath

I can wrap my fluffy bath towel around me at least twice

Wait for it…..Boots! I can wear boots now that aren’t wide calf

In the end. Everything comes down to personal choices, self discipline and how much you want to be healthy and how hard you’re willing to work to enjoy life, not just go through the motions. For me this is still the best decision I’ve made in my life regarding personal health and longevity of life.

And as always, if you have any questions and are not wanting to ask me here feel free to email me at mahalialevey@Yahoo.com or private message me in Facebook.

Previous blog posted by me on weight loss surgery

Choosing Weight Loss Surgery

Interview on Life Style Changes Here

Claiming The She-Wolf- Louisa Bacio

ClaimingTheSheWolf_200x300Black Hills Wolves

Claiming the She-Wolf

by Louisa Bacio

When her older brother leaves the Black Hills to go to college, Tala Graystone stays behind, determined to restore their dilapidated home into a B&B for the pack. As more people return to the area, the need for temporary housing increases. Now, if only she can find someone to help with the heavy lifting.

Yas Collins fled Los Lobos as a child with his mother. As he struggles with his wolf and overpowering shifts, a desire for nature and the forest strikes hard. Black Hills, South Dakota, beckons him. With a background in construction, he easily finds work at Tala’s dilapidated B&B, but not everyone in town greets him with open arms.

As the remodel gets underway, Tala and Yas fight their growing attraction. Yas doesn’t trust his wolf urges around beautiful B&B owner. The she-wolf, however, has other plans.

Claiming the She-Wolf

Black Hills Wolves

On sale: July 17, 2015
Available for pre-order via Amazon, ARe, iBooks, Kobo.

 

Advanced reviews: “Scorching hot romance can only win your heart and leave you looking for more of this series!” – Roxie Ferguson, Goodreads

 

About the Author:

A Southern California native, Louisa Bacio can’t imagine living far away from the ocean. The multi-published author of erotic romance enjoys writing within all realms – from short stories to full-length novels.

Bacio shares her household with a supportive husband, two daughters growing “too fast,” and a multitude pet craziness: Two dogs, five fish tanks, an aviary, hamsters, rabbits and hermit crabs. In her other life, she teaches college classes in English, journalism and popular culture.

Contact Details:

Website http://www.louisabacio.com

Email: louisabacio@yahoo.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/louisabacio

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/louisabacio

Enjoy the following excerpt for Claiming the She-Wolf:

A growl from low in his throat threatened to escape. The rumble started in his chest, and he fought to keep it down.

She turned, looking down at him. “Did you say something?”

“Umm, no. Just clearing my throat.”

He needed to get his base instincts under control. Recent research showed that wolves in the wild killed in order to protect their domains and to get more space. He didn’t want to be ruled by his wolf. He’d grown up in the city, with humans, not out in the forest. His mom had tried to talk to him about shifting, but as a woman, she didn’t have the same experience.

He couldn’t go to a shifters anonymous group for help with his sexual urges. Maybe he needed to start his own support group. He snorted at the idea. At the top of the landing, Tala turned to the right, and he followed.

They entered what had to be the master bedroom suite. It was painted a vibrant lavender color, and the bed had a green floral comforter with an abundance of fluffy throw pillows. White dollies rested on the two nightstands, and a vase of wildflowers called for attention. The feminine room seemed in sharp contrast to his host. She didn’t look frilly.

“This will be your quarters.” Her lips pursed, and she blinked a few times.

The idea shocked him. “What? I’m sorry, but it looks like your room.”

“Well, it has been. But it’s the nicest room in the house, and as a guest, figure you should have it to be comfortable. I’ll move my things into another one.”

He waved his hands in front of him, as if shooing away something physically bad. “No way. No can do. Give me the second best, then. My first job can be fixing it up.”

She smiled. “Well, second best would be my brother’s room, and even though he’s on a trip right now, I don’t feel comfortable moving his stuff. So third best, and we work today to make it more, um, livable?”

Her choice of words made him pause. “Deal.”

Rafflecopter Giveaway

Welcome My Friend Afton Locke, Promoting Black Hills Wolves “Rebel’s Claw!”

Rebels'Claw_300x450Got Boots?

When I wrote Alpha in Disguise, my first Black Hills Wolves book, I mentioned a character at the end for a sequel. Roark, Lara’s nephew and former pack mate, promised to be a hell-raising hero. The problem was I couldn’t think of the right heroine for him. I always try to find career interests for my heroines, but in this case, her job made all the difference. When a reader came up with rancher, heroine Carrie sprang to life and Rebel’s Claw was born. Roark hates ranchers because they killed most of his pack. The conflict really heated up the pages.

Rebel’s Claw by Afton Locke

Revenge never tasted sweeter

Release Date: 26 June 2015

Publisher: Decadent Publishing

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rebels-Claw-Black-Hills-Wolves-ebook/dp/B00ZZ99B3S/

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25752960-rebel-s-claw

Reviews and more: http://www.aftonlocke.com/RebelsClaw.html

Book Trailer: https://youtu.be/wNy92kgcPvg

Black Hills Wolves series: http://www.amazon.com/gp/bookseries/B00X9R8CAG/kindle/ref=sr_bookseriesnull_B00X9R8CAG

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Blurb

Roark Archer’s Lamar Canyon Pack in Yellowstone has been decimated by ranchers and hunters. Although the Tao pack in Los Lobos, South Dakota, has offered to assimilate it, he cannot give up his heritage so easily. At least not until he gets revenge against whoever killed his best friend, Jared, three years ago.

Recluse Carrie Myers lives on the Wyoming cattle ranch her late father left her. One fateful night changes her life forever, leaving her questioning her sanity. She knows what she saw…or does she? Regardless, she’ll do anything to protect the awful secret that has haunted her for the past three years.

When fate brings Roark to Carrie’s doorstep, the connection between them is undeniable. Determined to avoid commitment, they agree to give in to their unexplainable attraction for one night. Will hatred consume this hell-raising shifter, or can he learn love and forgiveness in the enemy’s arms?

Excerpt (explicit)

Rebel’s Claw – Copyright © Afton Locke, 2015

When his fingers tangled on the waistband of her panties, her legs trembled and her cleft burned with need. For the first time, she wished she owned lacy, feminine lingerie instead of boring, practical underwear.

“These are so sexy,” he whispered as if reading her mind. “So perfect on you.”

She gasped when his finger dipped under the white fabric, probing and swirling over swollen flesh. Her head thrashed on the pillow. Surely, she didn’t deserve such pleasure. With each caress, he promised even more. Completely disconnected from reality, she hovered over an abyss.

 

Don’t let me go.

She craved him every night, to make her forget everything causing her pain. With an instinct of their own, her hips danced as sinuously as a snake’s. His finger slipped inside, thrusting deep. If her pleasure was electricity, he’d light her up for miles.

He grabbed her hand and pressed it to the rock-hard bulge in his jeans. She shied away when he unzipped himself, but he pressed his bare cock into her palm. Lord, she’d never felt anything so hot. So alive. A trail of juice seeped from her core.

“Are you still sure you want to do this?” he whispered in her ear.

Their chests bucked and swelled against each other from their hard breathing. She felt as if she’d run the length of the ranch a hundred times.

“Y-yes, Roark.”

“Then grab my wallet off the nightstand since you’re closer to it.”

Her body tensed. He didn’t plan to pay her like a prostitute, did he? Daddy definitely wouldn’t approve. He wouldn’t look kindly on a one-night stand, either.

“There’s a condom in it,” he added.

When she twisted away from his hot skin, the contrast of the cool air caused her to shiver. Clumsier than ever, she dropped the wallet on the bed. It opened, revealing several pictures in plastic sleeves. She couldn’t resist flipping through them. Did he have a girlfriend? Hopefully not a wife. Hopping cow patties. She hadn’t even thought to ask about that.

Too late to back out now.

The people were all ages and shared a similar look to him, so she assumed they were family. She could hardly concentrate, with him stroking her back and grinding his wonderful hardness against her buttocks.

“You’re taking too damn long,” he muttered against her hair. “I’m about to take you, condom or not.”

“H-hold on a second,” she replied.

When she spotted the last picture, the heat in her body turned to ice. She blinked, hoping she’d seen it wrong, but the image only became clearer. Her mouth dropped open in horror as she stared at the face of a reddish-haired man with a beard. Nausea twisted her gut while a lone coyote howled in the distance. The remembered sensation of mud and blisters floated across her hands….

Oh, dear Lord. It was him! The face of the creature she’d killed.

Coming Soon

Deeper Than Perfect – 1970s time-travel

 

Author Bio

Afton Locke is a USA Today Bestselling Author who prefers romantic fantasies to everyday reality. Fantasies take her to different times, races, places, and beyond. She lives with her husband, dog, several unnamed dust bunnies, and a black cat that can be scary or cuddly, depending on the current book. When she’s not writing, Afton enjoys hiking, cooking, crafts, and reading.

 

Where readers can find me

Newsletter: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thelovechronicle/

Web site: http://www.aftonlocke.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AftonLockeAuthor

Twitter: http://twitter.com/aftonlocke

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/Afton_Locke

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/aftonlocke

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/aftonlocke/

#AlphaInDisguise #BlackHillsWolves #EroticRomance #hotwerewolf #ParanormalRomance #shifters

Interview with Ravage and Giveaway

Mahalia Interviews Ravage

“I have Ravage, my hero from Seducing The Schoolmarm here for an interview. Let’s get started! So “Rav”, what makes you special?”

“I’m not so special darlin’, just a Southern man who was taught how to treat others right.”

His charm warms my cheeks as I sit across from him, the tip of my pen in my mouth. “What differentiates you from your kind, then?” I wait, anxious to see if he’ll open up or not.

Ravage leans forward and delivers a panty dropping smile. “My kind is supposed to be a secret darlin’. I’m figuring you must want to be carted off to our land for an adventure of your own.”

A growl reverberates through the air, making me turn my attention from “Rav” to the new intruder. My heart flutters and my panties grow damp. Eyes wide, I take in the image in front of me. A scowling exact replica of the delicious male in front of me. Darting my gaze back and forth, I can’t decide who to look at more, the charming man in front of me or the beast who broke into my office, interrupting my interview.

“Excuse me,” I find my voice. “Who are you and why are you barging into a private interview?”

Sexiness on a stick flicks an annoyed gaze to the man across from me. “Raze, you can go now.”

“Oh! I didn’t realize there were two of you…til now,” I stammer. Dark and sexy swaggers over to his brother and punches him in the face. “Quit acting like you’re me, fuck face.”

Raze offers an apologetic gaze my way while cracking his jaw and standing. I notice two things: they are identical, from voice to looks, tattoos and all, and it’s a bit overwhelming to have double the testosterone so close.

“Lovely, it was my pleasure meeting you. Have fun with this brute.” He shoves past his twin, out the door. I’m sad to see him go.

“He’s gay.”

“Alright, now that we have that settled.” My cheeks pinken. So sue me, I’m thinking what a waste. Imagine the Galveston sandwich that could be. The beast looks at me with a hint of bafflement making me giggle.

“I got things to take care of darlin’. A twin bro, and crazy younger sister who needs twenty-four hour supervision.”

“All right. So “Rav,” I was asking Raze what makes him–erm, you special?”

Seducing the Schoolmarm by Mahalia Levey book cover

“My cock.” He takes a seat and leans back. “I’m kidding darlin’. I’m not so special just a man.”

My mind is now stuck on what his dick looks like. As if he knows, he teases me by lifting his shirt up a tad to show his rock hard abs. Fuck if it ain’t beautifully sculpted. I cough. “Erm okay. What differentiates you from your kind? Then?”

He takes a minute to think. His hand runs through his ever so messy hair. “Fuck darlin’ that’s a bat shit crazy question. We’re all the same. Beasts. Me I’m a different breed of beast. A natural fighter, Shifter Mixed Martial Art fighter.”

“Wow. Can you elaborate?”

“I could but why would I do that when you can read the book.” He winks.

“Do you have special abilities?”

“I shift into a hulking wolf. What do you think?” He quirks a brow my way and gifts me with the sexiest smile I’ve ever seen. Well, except for his twin’s.

“And the stamina.” He adds for good measure.

“Tell us about your most current adventure.”

“Darlin’ most of my adventures revolve around a sexy schoolteacher and her habit of running. “Love a good hard chase.”

“Are you happy with the way people perceive you?”

“Hmph. Yeah, Teach seems to think I need taken care of, though. Fuck if I know. I’m too busy taking care of everyone else. Fuckin’ feelin’s are not the way of the beast.”

“Tell us a little bit about your world.”

“Why don’t you be our guest for a week?”

His turning around the question makes me laugh. “I can’t do that. I know I’d have to stay forever. Soooo…What kind of music do you listen to?”

“Country boy at heart. Some rock but not that screaming bullshit. Man’s gotta be able to think.”

“Is expressing love difficult for you? Why?”

He looks at me like I’ve grown two heads. “Why the hell would I want to talk about love?” He evades. His face softens a tad. “I fuckin’ love that woman. Have since I first heard her sweet prissy voice on the phone.”

“Share a little bit of the ‘real’ you with our readers. Any Dark secrets?”

“The real me? Baby I don’t do pretenses. As for secrets, in my world that gets you in a right fuck’d situation with the Alpha. Nah, don’t got time to be anything but this beast right here next to you.”

“What is your most favorite thing to do?”

“Fuck. Hunt. Fuck. Sleep.”

“You know you said fuck twice.”

“Yeah? Maybe I like it twice as much.” He shrugs.

“What’s your job for the Tao Pack?”

“I’m a dominant. I patrol and take care of shit needing taken care of, also helping rebuild our community.” A grin spreads across his face as he takes pride in being a part of something bigger than himself.

“Do you sing in the shower?”

“Do you? I find other fun things to do in the shower. Singin ain’t one of them.”

“Have you ever lost control? And what was the outcome?”

“Yes, and luv, no one wants to see that, least no one wanting to live.”

“How many sex partners have you had? How many at one time?”

“You tryin’ to get me in deep with the Mrs.? I plead the fifth.” He looks ansty to leave and I remember his familial obligations.

“Any words of advice to leave the readers with Ravage?”

“Seducing The Schoolmarm is available now. Stop by and read about the Galveston brood. Don’t get your panties in a twist if you don’t get enough of me. I promise you other stories are coming and you’ll see All.Of.Me. Again.” He takes my hand, kisses it and saunters out of the room.

**Model in photo: Erko Jun. Photo is copyright Erko Jun, all rights reserved by him. Visit hisWeb site**

Seducing the Schoolmarm by Mahalia Levey book coverTitle: Seducing The Schoolmarm
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Release Date: April 24, 2015
Series: Black Hills Wolves
Publisher: Decadent Publishing

About the Book
Ravage Galveston knew moving to Los Lobos wouldn’t be easy. He and his sibling have never had a pack. His gut tells him the Black Hills Wolves is the place for his gay twin brother and his wayward sister to thrive. Then he meets the town’s sexy little schoolmarm. How she manages to turn his entire life upside down, he has no clue.

For years, Adrie Scarlett taught at human schools. But when her need to shift increases, she must leave her old life behind and move to the Black Hills. Having always loved being a teacher, she decides to offer her abilities to the young Wolves of Los Lobos. She adjusts to her new life just fine…until a Shifter Mixed Martial Arts fighter Wolf strolls into her classroom.

When they meet, their Wolves recognize their mate. But will their human side allow their lust to burn into something everlasting or cause it to fade out?

AllRomance | Amazon | Kobo | iTunes

EXCERPT

Adrie gasped, sparks flying as his mouth brushed with hers. Her heart pounded a furious pace, but what stunned her most was his masculine taste, all heat and pulsating power. She parted her lips for his onslaught, enjoyed the way he stroked his tongue into her mouth as if he had all the time in the world, delivering the mother of all panty-drenching kisses. His long, strong fingers slid through her hair, holding her head hostage. Heat emanated from his body, enveloping her in his rich, spiced sandalwood scent.

Her Wolf sighed in sweet relief while her brain urgently advised her to distance herself, break off the best first kiss in history. But how could she? How could she deny the need to mate with this magnificent man when she’d enjoyed getting to know him and saw his inherent decency matched inside and out?

What had she expected, a shallow playboy perhaps? The single male wolves she’d met thus far proved to be the how-can-I-get-in-your-pants-fast type of guys. Horny, fabulous-smelling specimens of her species with their little heads leading, not their big ones.

“I can hear you thinking.” He nipped her bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth.

Adrie growled, sweeping her tongue over his to take charge of the kiss— breathing in his oxygen and exhaling—and dared to run her palms over his muscle-ripped torso. She wanted more, so much more.

“Teach, playing with me can be dangerous.” He plucked the glasses off her face for a second time, giving her no shield to hide behind. He flicked the buttons of her shirt open with deft fingers, leaving her pink lace bra on display. “Damn sexy. Wanna bet you have matching panties on under there?” He lifted her onto the table, inching his hand along her bare thigh to push up the pencil skirt. He knelt before her. “Spread your legs, Teach.”

Adrie’s face heated with his scorching words. No one’s ever talked to me like this. So carnal. So dirty. Damn, it’s so freaking hot.

To win a keychain, comment with your favorite thing about any of the Black Hills Wolves stories.

To Win a shot glass,tell me what you loved most about Ravage and Adrie!

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Seducing The Schoolmarm Coming April 24th

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Ravage Galveston knew moving to Los Lobos wouldn’t be easy. He and his sibling have never had a pack. His gut tells him the Black Hills Wolves is the place for his gay twin brother and his wayward sister to thrive. Then he meets the town’s sexy little schoolmarm. How she manages to turn his entire life upside down, he has no clue.

For years, Adrie Scarlett taught at human schools. But when her need to shift increases, she must leave her old life behind and move to the Black Hills. Having always loved being a teacher, she decides to offer her abilities to the young Wolves of Los Lobos. She adjusts to her new life just fine…until a Shifter Mixed Martial Arts fighter Wolf strolls into her classroom.

When they meet, their Wolves recognize their mate. But will their human side allow their lust to burn into something everlasting or cause it to fade out?

Short Teaser Excerpt:

He sniffed the air, something snagging his attention. The scent of sweetness, a hint of vanilla and jasmine. His Wolf smiled. Glancing at his watch, he was surprised to find three hours had passed while he was deep in thought. He rose and headed back through the house to meet their new visitor.

Ravage opened the front door. “Hi, beautiful.”

Leaning against the archway, he raked a lingering gaze over the curvy woman in a skirt and form-fitting shirt. His perusal ended on her pixie-cute face and beautiful gray eyes hidden behind the ugliest pair of horn-rimmed glasses he’d ever seen.

“Hi. I’m Adrie. I figured since we’d talked on the phone so much, I’d come by personally and welcome you and your family to Los Lobos.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Ravage.” He wanted to release her hair from the tight bun at the nape of her neck, let the tresses hang around her shoulders and face.

“I figured you’d be hungry, so I wanted to be a good neighbor and bring by dinner and sweet tea. We don’t have any quick restaurants nearby, and I thought you’d be too worn out from moving to cook, at least for tonight.”

She’s cute when she rambles on. His Wolf agreed. “Let me take that from you. Come on in. We haven’t done much yet, just unloaded our trailer.”

“I saw. Looks like you’re moving an entire state in with y’all.”

Ravage led her to the dining room table, the only area with chairs unpacked, aside from the breakfast stools along the breakfast counter. As he set the containers on the table, he considered calling Caress inside but wanted to check out the sexy schoolmarm without prying eyes. “Please have a seat.”

She perched on the edge of a chair, a pretty blush staining her cheeks. Her gaze traveled from his bare chest to his face, to his chest again, and a lingering pass back up to meet his eyes, this time remaining in place.

Amused, he arched a brow. “Do I need to put on a shirt?”

“I, um…. You don’t have to on my account.”

Anthology Release Day for Love in Black & White

LoveinBlack&White_MEDHappy Monday!!!! I’m excited to be part of an Interracial Anthology with some fabulous authors. Love in Black and White releases today. This is my last published work for the year of 2014 and while 2014 draws to an end. I’ve had a fabulous year.

Amazon Link

ARe Link

SCP Link

 

 

 

Indulgence

thZoey Gray lives for the chocolate recipes she drums up. Sole Owner of Indulgence, a sweet shop that draws customers from far and wide. Her thriving business has surpassed her wildest dreams…though she longs for the right man to tickle her taste buds.  Life couldn’t be better until the shop next to her is sold and a new pastry shop emerges.

Khristos Trakis loves his sister. When she begs him to buy her the spot next to a trendy popular sweet shop to open a Greek pastry bakery, he’s prepared to tell his darling sibling no, until he catches a glimpse of a woman and how she interacts with her patrons. Mesmerized by her enchanting face and curvaceous figure, he recants his decision for the opportunity to meet the breathtaking woman wanting to be the recipient of her bright as a ray of sunshine smile.

Tag: Who says rival business neighbors can’t mix competition and pleasure. All that’s needed are the right ingredients.

 

 

th-3Excerpt:

When you’re not visualizing the demise of the store across the street, what do you like to do for fun?”

“Hey, I don’t wish for the death of anything, however, if she were to move to another part of town, I wouldn’t complain. As for fun, the usual, movies, dinner, skydiving…”

“Iliahtida, skydiving? If God meant for us to have wings, I’d be daring. I’m no bird, so I’ll fly in a plane, but not jump out of one. I’d love to take you out to do whatever makes you happy outside of dares and stunts.”

“Iliahtida?”

“Means sunshine in Greek. I saw your smile from the street when I was passing by one day. Now, whenever I see you, I’m reminded of what drew me to your store.”

Zoey searched his face for signs he was joking or teasing. He looked genuine and regarded her with a questioning stare. His stare turned heated, igniting a fire in her belly. She squirmed in her seat, waiting for the moment to pass. It never did, and she couldn’t think of anything to say. To hell with being cautious. Taking matters into her own hands, she stood up from her chair, walking the short two steps to his. “That was the sweetest thing I’ve heard in a long time. Thank you.” Before she lost the nerve, she pressed her palms to his chest, leaned down, and planted her lips on his.

Her plan was a soft, short kiss to tell him she definitely wanted to get to know him better, so she was ill-prepared for him to take control of their first kiss. He tasted like the fruit-and-nut robust coffee beverage he’d consumed.

When she went to pull away, she found herself gridlocked between strong arms, him teasing her with nips and sucks on her bottom lip, nibbling on her ear, and then moving back, resulting in total possession. With each thrust of his tongue, the urge to get naked nearly overcame her responsible nature. She drew in deep breaths and inhaled deeply between his all-consuming taste test of her. After one last nibble, he broke contact, giving her room to breathe. The absence of his strong hold left her unbalanced. Zoey sucked in a breath, forcing her weak knees to hold her weight. She darted her tongue over her bottom lip and smoothed her clothing. “I’m, um—”

“Have to get back to work.” Khristos finished for her as he stood, appearing unfazed, until she saw the evidence to the contrary.

“Walk back with me. You still have to pick up your prize.”

“After you.” Khristos pushed his chair up to the table and slid his hands into his pockets. Zoey hoped her kiss wasn’t too impulsive. Damn, the man charmed the socks right off her, and then the lip-lock knocked all her past lovers right out the ballpark, placing him in a league of his own.

“Have you decided what kind of dessert you’d like to take back with you?” They walked back toward her café at the slow pace he set.

“If you were a doctor of chocolate and I was your patient, what would you recommend?”

He got her sense of humor and with it, earned extra kudos. “I’d say it depends on what ails you. If you’re angry at the world…I’d suggest death by chocolate. Seven layers of chocolate cake with alternating fillings of caramel, mocha, and Kahlua crème, topped with a cherry for each slice.”

“That might put me in cardiac arrest.”

“Then I’d have to revive you by feeding you a thick pretzel stick drizzled in dark chocolate, peanut butter, white chocolate, and covered with nuts. Sweet and salty works every time.”

“Hmmm. Then who’s going to revive you after you deplete your cache of powers?”

“I have it on high authority there’s a sexy businessman who needs sunshine in his life. I’m sure I have nothing to worry about, should I need resuscitation.”

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Grab a copy Of This Antho to find out what happens in my story Indulgence.

Choosing Weight Loss Surgery

photo 4It’s been close to nine months since I went under the knife for weightless surgery. I get a lot of questions about what made me choose to go the route of having surgery versus trying to live healthy and eat healthy.  The answer is a bit complicated. So I’ll try to make it simple. I gained weight I couldn’t drop no matter who much I worked out or ate and lived a cleaner life. I cut out fried foods, limited chocolate consumption,  went soda free years before my surgery. I also limited alcohol intake once I began taking beta blockers for SvT. Still I continued to gain weight. My body index was extremely high but I did work out, worked my tail off as much as I could while singing to myself or talking while exercising to keep track of exertion.

I checked out and researched the procedures for two and a half years before going in for a consult in 2013, and then waited another seven months before beginning the process. The main reason was after meeting with my surgeon, he gave me insight into why I wasn’t losing, how my metabolism couldn’t re regulate or reset due to my BMI at 40, saying I’d have to work out around the clock to get it down. We spent two hours going over my questions, and I had many…before I was satisfied and My fiancé was satisfied. He also didn’t understand why I couldn’t just exercise and lose it. Picture timeline of weightless so far at the bottom.

I chose the Gastric Sleeve. Click on the link to read if you like.

From that point on, I began planning, put in notice at my job so there’d be coverage, ate cleaner and waited for my date. The day of the surgery I was a hot mess. I was scared of course, anxious and thinking up til we got there…do I want to do this? I gave myself a pep talk saying to just do it. At the rate of weight gain I was looking at least ten more pounds a year at the age of 38, I really wanted to be able to live long enough to see my kids get married, have grandkids and keep up with them. I wanted to be able to paint my own toes, and cross my leg without it being sidewise. Little things that when you’re obese you can no longer do. I digress…

In the lobby, I signed in. Ten minutes later a nurse came out with a zanex for me, thank god since I was terribly anxious! Then I was wheeled off to anesthesia. Hours later I woke up and the surgery was complete.

Morphine is not my friend. I don’t like any drug that makes me feel out of control so I didn’t use the pump but once and asked for tordol instead. I was up walking that night and went home the next day. My stomach was extremely bloated and super sore. My daughter helped me shower and dress for a week. I couldn’t bend over or get too wet due to all the dressings and staples in me.

I lived on water, broth and protein shakes for a week. Then moved on to soft foods and protein shakes. I walked around the house every four hours for five minutes and gave myself blood thinner shots in my stomach for a week.

With 2/3 of my stomach removed. The hormone Ghrelin is no longer produced in my body. While I don’t ever feel hungry. My body alerts me to eat when needed. I have to remind myself to drink enough though and if I don’t I feel it the next morning.  Since that hormone is non existent, the urge for cravings is also pretty much absent. I can smell food and not want it, watch others eat junk and not want it, that is the nice part of having the sleeve procedure done.

A week later, I began walking more around the house and eventually walked an hour a day up the hill and down for an hour.

The next phase of eating was still protein shakes, deli meat, tuna, canned chicken, broth water, string chicken, canned green beans, canned carrots, beans, frozen sugar-free Popsicle and applesauce. I used trivia to sweeten everything.

I quickly learned how much I could stomach or what new foods I attempted I couldn’t tolerate. I still can’t eat eggs or lettuce. Egg substitutes work though but red meat is painful.

Slowly along the way in month three and four, I added fresh veggies and fresh fruit, turkey and chicken chili with beans and cheese shavings on top,  greek yogurt with 9 to 12 grams of sugar, cheese popcorn, humus and pretzel chips or pita bread, and sweet freedom ice-cream.

Month five and six. I added Oscar protein packs, quest protein bars, fresh fruit, raw vegetables, low-fat salad dressing, pineapple and cheddar bacon brats minus the bun, bbq meat finely chopped, chicken salad, burritos, and finding restaurants to eat at. Also decaf sugar-free mocha fraps at Starbucks as a treat.

Chicken Quesadillas,macaroni and cheese, spinach and artichoke pizza with olive oil as the sauce, turkey meatballs, turkey patties vs hamburger patties. At Mexican restaurants. I get my entrée with sauce on the side and eat the meat and cheese but not the wrapping.

My taste buds… have changed. I cannot tolerate anything super sweet. As soon as it hits my tongue (apple crisp I tried during thanksgiving) I immediately spit it back out.

Sugar substitutes have an odd effect on me…

Sorbital makes me drool. Like I’m feigning over a hot guy lol. I mean I drool to the point of it’s disgusting.

Malitol makes me want to consume two full glasses of water and gives me cramps

Equal gives me a splitting headache

Splenda is okay in moderation but makes me nauseated if it’s too much and has a weird aftertaste sometimes.

I’ve lost 97 pounds since March 24th.

Being close to sugar-free or limiting processed sugar has improved my mood, my immune system. (sugar is detrimental to the immune system)

I’ve stopped taking all meds except my heart pills and the occasional allergy pill.

I take bariatric vitamins and a calcium supplement no different from taking vitamins like one a day for other folks.

My trainers have changed my work out regime from cardio four times a week (which I love) 😦 to twice a week with weight training on Tuesdays and Fridays, or at least three days apart.

Like any woman lol I still wear spanks mainly to help with my skin to avoid having it too loose. I lotion up probably three times a day too to help maintain and hydrate my body along with 50 oz of water or fluids a day.

Clothing myself has been a PITA. I took me awhile to figure out how to conserve money. I have been in a lot of leggings and boots with long sweaters and now some cute dresses. Jeans and Slacks cost too much with how quick I’m dropping weight still. I am around 12 pounds every six weeks or so. Plato’s Closet, and a few thrift stores I love are godsends. Walmart has great fashion tights and Old Navy had some great sales I was able to get some things on. In the meantime every time I downgrade a size lower, I take my bigger clothes to the donation closet at the weightless center.

 

A lot to take in isn’t it?

It was worth every painstaking second of it. And the surgery…like childbirth I really don’t remember it. The roughest part was getting used to food again and what I could tolerate or not. I’m still a work in progress. I have scars on my stomach that will never go away. Those I don’t mind. What I do mind oddly is the fact that I miss having big boobs and a fat hiney. Squats help the butt but nothing but implants will give me boobage back and I’m not into those so….win some lose some. I’ve also lost a lot of hair but was warned that would happen. What I wasn’t ready for when that time came was to be in the shower and feel handfuls come out. I added a hair vitamin recently and protein packs to strengthen. It’s doing much better. No one would ever know since I’ve been wiggin’ it up for years.

To read more check out this interview I had with a good friend and author Adriana Kraft.

Interview on Lifestyle Changes here!

Before Surgery Pics

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Right After Surgery on March 25th

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Two weeks later beginning of April

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Late May

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July three months out

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Late July

 

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November

 

 

 

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